017 – David Meltzer: Determining Your “What” In Life

By September 4, 2020December 2nd, 2020No Comments

BCS 17 | What You Want


Everybody is talking about their “why,” their passion, what drives them to succeed in whatever they do, but what really gets you through the journey to true happiness is not finding your “why,” but finding your “what.” What is it that you really want in life? It can be a certain lifestyle you want to live, certain things you want to possess, or certain things that you want to do. If you get into grips with what happiness really means to you, you’ll be starting off in a trajectory towards something better – perhaps even the best life you can ever hope for. Joining Brian Covey on the show to talk about this is David Meltzer, a speaker, business coach, bestselling author and host of the Top 5 podcast series, The Playbook. David’s story is rife with profound lessons and epiphanies about life, wealth and happiness that everyone, regardless of what industry they’re in, can learn from. From gratitude and accountability to being in the center and becoming a “ferocious Buddha,” there is tremendous value that you can take away from this episode. David’s mission is to empower a billion people to be happy by spreading his powerful and inspiring message. Join in and take part in this global movement!

Listen to the podcast here:

David Meltzer: Determining Your “What” In Life

I’m super excited to bring you not only somebody that I’ve been following, but I’ve got a chance to get to know and I’m excited to bring on David Meltzer to share some of his wisdom. Not only that but his message around inspiring over a billion people to be happy. David, welcome.

It’s my pleasure. It’s part of the mission to find 1,000 people like you who I know in my lifetime to empower 1,000 to be happy. To do the math for everyone to make it easy. This mission may sound big, but it’s not. It’s finding a thousand times a thousand is a million, a million times a thousand is a billion, we can create this collective consciousness together. You all your great readers, followers and ambassadors out there, please hopefully learn the lessons of how to effectuate happiness into your life.

A lot of times we discount the fact that we can make a difference and that might be a small population here, but then that group influences and impacts others. We almost minimize a little bit of what we can do. I’m sure you’ve seen that. I’ll listen to some of your teachings if we almost like hold ourselves back. It’s like, “It’s just me, I can’t make an impact.” That’s not true.

No, and it relates to your business, loanDepot, it’s compound interest. People don’t get compound interest, positive and negative compound interest. There is a process of segmentation acceleration and growth of all currencies. Money is a currency and objective energy you put in the flow. Faith is a currency and objective energy that you put into flow. Both if you put it into the flow as a currency gets you what you want. In fact, I used to think money buys happiness, and I found that money is important because it doesn’t buy happiness, but allows you to shop. If you shop for the right things, you’ll be happy. It’s important to understand segmentation, compound interest in everything that we do, and provide that perspective of consistency to get it.

The way you talked about compounding and those are some things we unpack that people may not know some of these principles and things that I’ve listened to that you start to almost self-reflect and realize, faith, for example, is super important. During this time, we probably haven’t put enough emphasis on that or our health. I’m excited to talk about those. Before we do that, there are probably some people out there that maybe don’t know you, as well as others. Give them a quick little background about who David is, a little background about what you’re up to so they have a little framework for what we’re going to dive into.

That first point is important for everyone to learn. First of all, we can’t fathom the size of our connectivity. Think that people would know who I am such a minuscule, although I’m blessed to have a great community, a great ambassadorship, a great following. It’s still minuscule. One of the perspectives that I want to share with everyone is please learn how big and powerful you are, and how much opportunity exists. We’re starting off with this connectivity. It’s the first time in human existence that we are able to connect with over 4.4 billion people and growing. We’re able to connect to that many people.

Don’t give to receive. Receive to give. Click To Tweet

To think that the majority of the people in the world don’t know or care who I am, and I’m trying to get there through compound interest. Let me share my story. To me, one is money and my relationship to it. I was born in a world of not enough, not enough money. I thought though that money bought happiness and love because I grew up with a happiness gene. I was always inherently happy. I called myself the toptimists. I was the top of all optimists. I not only found the light, love and lessons, I could find it in anything even taking the trash out. For me, the only time that happiness was challenged in my life was because of financial distress.

I was living in a world of not enough. If the car broke down, my mom would cry. Six kids, single mom, she worked two jobs, packed my dinner in a paper bag. The second job, she’s a great teacher but filled up turnstiles with greeting cards at convenience stores at night, and we would study in a station wagon. I was happy except for my mom wasn’t with finances. In my mind, I connected at a very young age when my dad left at five, “If I could make a ton of money, I could buy my mom a house, a car, and I’d be happy all the time.” I went on that journey from the world of not enough into the world of enough where through a variety of things wanting to be a professional football player. I got ran over by Christian Okoye in my freshman year, I ended up playing football in college. I realize lying on my back, I should have listened to my mom. She taught me doctor, lawyer, or failure.

I merely wanted to be a doctor then realized doctors had to be in hospitals, less than there. You’ve got to be more interested than interesting. We talked about this about interviewing people. My brother taught me because he almost fell over in shock. He was a doctor and I was like, “I hate hospitals.” He goes, “You’re going be a doctor.” I go, “No. I’m being a sports doctor.” I’ll be on the sidelines and in locker rooms. I’m not in the hospital.” He goes, “You realize, every doctor has to spend a lot of time in a hospital.” I was eighteen years old. I see that so much in all ages, all industries and all professions, people aren’t interested. They’re interesting.

They’ve lost the fine art of listening. There are three types of listeners. I don’t talk about this much, but because you have such a great show and you are such a great listener. There’s the interrupter. The one who never listen to you. They want to tell you what they think. There’s the clever one and I see this in interviewing, it’s called the waiter. They’re not listening to what you’re saying. They’re waiting to tell you what they want to say, and then there’s someone that’s more interested than interesting. They’re processing what you’re saying. They’re learning from you and they’re trying to enhance more knowledge from you, more skills from you, more capabilities and desire from you to elevate others, to elevate you. It’s important that I learned that at a young age to be more interested than interesting.

I love that because going back to my sports background, we have some similarities there of sports. It taught me a lot of what I do. I think about players or myself, like being coachable. Probably, there in that third group. They’re the ones that they do listen, they’ll take the feedback from the coach, they’re not listening to the coach going, “I’m going to take part of this but I’m going to do my own thing over there.” I love how you’ve had the sports background and how you share how you came up. We all have a story. As kids, I love how you associated money to be thought would bring happiness as well. What were some of the other tie ins as you grew up and you went through life, you realize, “Money isn’t going to completely buy me happiness?” It opens doors and allows you to do things and to make an impact. Was there anything that you pivoted and said, “There’s more to this happiness thing than money?”

When I got to law school, I made $1 million in nine months out of law school. Everything from that point on reaffirmed that money bought happiness and love. I sold part of a company in 1995. $3.4 billion is my first exit and working for West Publishing, the Thomson. I ended up at 30, a multi-millionaire working CEO in the world’s first smartphone, and then I became CEO of the world’s most notable sports agency, Leigh Steinberg, Sports & Entertainment. Up to that point, everything in my life reaffirmed. Money buys happiness and love or at least I perceive that to be the case. At 30 years old, I had three things that happened that changed my perspective of money. The first was when I was 30. My father gave me a birthday gift. It was the first one he gave me in twenty years.

BCS 17 | What You Want

What You Want: Determine your “what” and you’ll figure out your “why” and your “how.”


At ten, he was my superhero, even though he had left at five. He walked on gold. He had been rich. He married a girl closer to my age than his. He was a deadbeat dad. I was ten and I didn’t know he wasn’t paying any child support. In my mind, he was a superhero. He forgets my birthday at ten. Instead of being accountable, he tells me he didn’t forget my birthday. He doesn’t believe in birthdays, even though he’s celebrating my sibling’s birthday, his birthday, his wife’s birthday. Immediately, he goes from hero to zero, but at 30 years old, I’m a multimillionaire. I’m married to my dream girl. Everything in my life to 30, reaffirmed money bought love and happiness, and he gives me a present, a sport coat.

I immediately put it on and it’s perfect. I start to cry because he took the time to figure out my exact size and every son wants to be reunited with his dad. This was going to be the start of this great relationship. I opened the jacket to see if it says, “Specially made for David Meltzer’s birthday. Happy 30th,” or Armani. I’m looking in there. He had torn out all the pockets in the lining of the jacket. I’m looking at the jacket and I immediately go into ego-based consciousness into rage. I call him up. I’m like, “Why are you punishing me? It’s my 30th birthday. You’re punishing me after twenty years.” He goes, “What are you talking about?” I said, “You gave me a jacket I can’t wear.” He said, “It’s not for wearing.”

I said, “Why would you give me something I can’t wear?” He said, “It’s to remind you that money doesn’t buy happiness.” I was like, “What are you talking about?” He said, “David, you’re like me. I don’t want you to be the richest man in the cemetery. I want you to hang the jacket in the closet and remind you that money doesn’t buy happiness. That you can’t take anything with you when you’re gone. Don’t make the same mistakes that I made.” At 30 having reinforced that money buys love and happiness, always about money, I immediately went to anger. I told him, “I’m nothing like you. You’re a liar, cheater, manipulator, over seller, back end seller. I hate you. F you. Goodbye.” That was step one and there are three of them.

Number two. I’m running Leigh Steinberg Sports & Entertainment, surrounded by the greatest athletes, celebrities, entertainers, giving access to everything, Super Bowl, Pro Bowl, Masters, The Kentucky Derby. I had the dream job of so many people. They wanted to be Jerry Maguire. They made the film Jerry Maguire after Leigh Steinberg, the guy who created my firm. I was the CEO of this company, I had access to everything. I take my best friend Rob, who ironically Rob I met in the fourth grade when I met my wife. At sixth grade camp, I had him ask my future wife to go steady with me in sixth grade camp. She said no in front of everyone. He yelled it out. He said, “She told you to ask yourself. You’re the biggest wimp.” I get mad and I threw an egg at her. I hit her in the back of the head and she hates me for literally fifteen years.

Rob is a true friend. I’m golfing with him and I invite him to the Masters. I said, “You know Shannon Sharpe, Cris Carter, Warren. We’re going to get to see Curtis Strange in The Cabins. You’ve never been to the Masters. It’s my favorite sporting event in the world. Come with me to the Masters.” He looks at me stone-faced and said, “Not a chance.” I was like, “What are you talking about?” He goes, “I don’t like who you hang out with and I don’t like what you do.” In all the years since I graduated law school, there’s that book, Don’t Take Yes for An Answer. I’ve been taking yes for an answer from everyone.

Everybody’s been telling me what I wanted to hear. We talked about my first podcast and why didn’t somebody tell me how much I sucked. I wish somebody would have told me what an idiot I was, that not only wasn’t I living in the world of not enough, I’ve been living in the world of just enough. I was buying things I didn’t need to impress people I didn’t even like and Rob was the only one ever to point it out to me that I had surrounded myself with the wrong people, the wrong ideas and lost my values of why he was my best friend for over 30 years. I go home crying. I was in tears because it was the first person that told me the truth. You and I both know, whether we let it show or not, when somebody tells us the truth, it hurts. Sometimes we projected anger like I did with my dad and say F you. With Rob, I didn’t go to blame, shame and justification. I went and I was thinking about it.

Two weeks later, my life would change. I go to the Grammy Awards with a rapper named Little Jon. I lied to my wife because she didn’t want me to go. We had three young girls under ten years old. I had been partying way too much. She said I wasn’t paying attention to my business. She told me not to go and that we needed to spend time together as a family. I lied to her and said I had a business meeting. I changed clothes in the car. I came home wasted at 5:30 in the morning from partying all night. She was waiting for me. For the first time in a long time, my wife did not tell me yes.

She told me she wasn’t happy and that I better take stock in who I was and what I wanted to become. She told me that she was going to leave, and I better take stock and or I’m going to die. Once again, I wasn’t ready to hear it. I yelled at her, “How dare you talk to me that way. Look around you. Who do you think provided all this? Where’s your gratitude? I can’t believe you’re going to say this to me.” I went to bed so mad. I woke up in even a worse mindset thinking about how I was going to steal her happiness. I was going to take all our money. I’m going to take all our happiness, and then my life would change forever.

While I was so pissed, the universe, God, faith, whoever, I looked over in my closet. I’m literally about to call a lawyer and there’s that jacket. I can barely tell the story without choking up. I’m looking at that jacket and my whole life shatters in front of me going, “You are a liar. You’re a cheater. You’re a manipulator, you’re a back end seller, you’re an over seller. You hate your dad because you hate yourself. Everything you hate about him for all these years is what you hate about yourself. She’s right.” That’s where I went and I started taking inventory of personal values, which I do every day and suggest other people do.

Angle yourself towards where you want to be by knowing what you want, and you’ll end up somewhere better. Click To Tweet

I take inventory of my personal values, my experiential values, my giving values and my receiving values. I shifted the paradigm from living as a victim in the world of not enough to living in a for me world buying things I didn’t need to impress people I didn’t like in the world of enough. I now understood that it wasn’t a matter of what I give to receive, that that’s trading in negotiating for everything in my life. That’s scarcity. I now had shifted to the universal infinity of abundance, that I was going to receive everything for me according to my values, instead of for me, through me, for others.

I was going to receive as much as I can for others. No more giving to receive, I received the gift. Most people don’t do that. That’s why I did that with my values. My life changed years ago. I have created an incredible, abundant life. I started a company with Warren Moon, the Hall of Fame quarterback, and many years ago, I built my own brand, TV shows, movies, podcasts, books, speaking, coaching, all the great things and most importantly, that’s where I set my mission. I give free training every Friday to empower over a billion people to be happy. I’ve done them for many years. They’ve now gotten huge because of COVID. I’ve moved them online, I never thought of it. It was always a unity event, a traveling event. We have literally thousands and thousands. We already have 15,000 people registered for Friday’s training for free.

Let’s talk about that because I think that’s going to be critical. I’ll come back. I’ve got a question about that whole story. Thank you for sharing. A lot of people, they see a guy like you very successful. You’ve gone through and had tremendous wins in many categories. They’re like, “Surely David’s never gone through rough times.” Everybody assumes that’s it. I would love for you to talk about the training because I registered for it. It’s around setbacks and comeback. Tell people about what that Friday training is. What do we do with that? That’s pretty awesome and it’s free.

I started it with sales training because that’s all I knew many years ago. I started it with the first component, which was make a lot of money. If you want to make a lot of money, come to my free training, your life will be better. I’ll teach you not only to make the money but shop for the right things. Then it moved to this happiness. Happiness to me is the greatest virus of all time. It’s spread by witnessing it. It is the only virus that you can witness. You can sit on the other side of the world witness happiness and catch it. You see it all the time. What it does is it strengthens us. It strengthens our immune system so it can protect us against all other viruses.

It strengthens us emotionally, physically, mentally and financially. Happiness strengthens us. I went on many years of campaign to teach people how to be happy. I have a pragmatic toolkit to teach it. Joel Osteen, I saw one of his things and he said, “Turn your setbacks into setups.” That’s what it is. It’s how do you find the light, the love and the lessons? How can I teach people a toolkit when things seem as if it’s all against you? You pull it together and say, “No.” I have a philosophy that you start where you don’t want to be, your angle towards where you want to be by knowing what you want, and you end up somewhere better. That’s the combination of that pragmatic world of a toolkit that we can use into the faithful realm that there’s more than enough of everything for everyone and that everything is a setup, not a setback.

It’s how we receive it and I love it. You’re changing the language even of that too. It’s not a setback. You’re getting set up for the next opportunity and many times your best opportunity came through. You might have stumbled and fallen. You got battered, bruised, you pick it up and the practical lessons to be happy, good times and bad. If you look at 2020, it is probably going to be a case study one day. How are you happy, and then others were not happy given this situation? To give the audience of going through what we’ve gone through, what will be one thing people could do to start on that journey and to find their happiness and be happy?

You need to take inventory of your values every day and not be afraid to be a hypocrite. Look at your day and say to yourself, “What are my personal values?” You’re in control of your mindset. When you know what you want, you’re able to enjoy the consistent persistent pursuit of what you want. Most people get confused with why. They’re always looking for their why, their passion, that’s BS. Know your what. You’ll figure out your why and your how. Everybody knows their why anyways to help somebody with something.

What I do is I take inventory of my values every day and I’m not afraid to tell people that I changed, that I’m a hypocrite, that what I believe to be valuable yesterday is not valuable today at all. Personal values, experiential values, giving values, what I want to provide value to others, and receiving values. That will help you determine your what. When you would determine your what, all you’ve got to do is ask and attract for that what. Ask people how you can be of service and value, but more importantly, “Do you know anybody that can help me get my what?”

Study your calendar. Attention plus intention equals coincidence, it’s the formula of luck, then do things now. Hundred percent of the things you do now get done, people get things done are more successful than people that don’t. Finally, practice ending fear. We can unpack that one later, but that’s the combination of things that you need to do to know that you have control of your mindset, you have control of the way you feel, and you have control of what you think, say, do and hear. You have control of all of those things. Take inventory of your value, asking the track, study your calendar, do it now and practice ending fear.

For the readers, that’s one you go back and you write that down and start there. That’s enough reason and more to register for the Friday training to make sure you get in the game because you’re not getting there by yourself. If you can have somebody guide you through this, that’s what I’ve picked up as I’ve listened to some of your lives and I’ve been dialing in the content you share. Every one of them I feel like you’re pulling me into a story something that is making me think and reflect on, “How am I showing up every day as a leader, as a dad, as a husband?” I want to go back to that story you told.

BCS 17 | What You Want

What You Want: Pain is an indicator that you have something to learn.


My belief is every person and definitely men and dads go through this tunnel or journey that they hit rock bottom at some point, stuff crashes and burns. We almost have a tendency to burn it down ourselves and we do it, but once you come out the other side of that, the clarity you have as you speak is profound because you almost don’t get that clarity unless you go through that tunnel, and you fight through it. For a lot of people, not being afraid of going through what you went through, but knowing how to get through. Going back to it, I’m curious, as you look back, what would be the advice you would give to somebody that maybe is going into that tunnel a little bit, or they’re in the middle of the storm right now? What you recognize was, “I’m not showing up as myself, this isn’t the life I want to live.” How do they correct and get back?

There are four values. For me, it was a continuum of lessons from 1993, 1997, 1999 to 2001, which was 9/11. In 2008, I lost over $100 million. I went bankrupt. That was two years after I started my journey of transitioning to this quantum shift in my life and 2020. What I’ve learned through that, all of those different lessons have been, number one, gratitude. You’ve got to have the perspective of gratitude. What does that mean? That means no matter what’s happening externally to you, that you have the capability of finding light, love, and lessons in everything. I see pain differently now than I did in 1993, the first time I went through a recession.

Pain to me, mental, physical, spiritual, emotional and financial pain is an indicator. It’s not a punishment. Pain is an indicator I have something to learn. What it’s telling me is, “You’ve got something to learn to go in a better direction to something better or make your situation better.” It’s what I talked about. I’m going to start where I don’t want to be, angled to where I want to be and end up somewhere better is because of pain. The lessons will keep on coming until I learn them, and they’ll result in pain if I haven’t learned them. I’ll forget every lesson I’ve ever learned, but I have the ability to access those lessons at any time. I strive with gratitude to find the light, the love and the lessons, the superpower and everybody I meet, the positive, the overflowing of life.

Second, forgiveness. When you’re expanding and growing, you’re going to make a ton of mistakes. If you make a ton of mistakes, you are going to have to forgive yourself. If you don’t forgive yourself, you can’t give what you don’t have. You are going to live in ego-based consciousness. Meaning, you’re going to create not only resistance between you and the greatest source of light, love and lessons that exists, but you’re also going to create resistance, void, shortages, obstacles, interference with everyone else in the world and everything else are connected to.

Forgiveness is a means to unwind or clear all of the interference or corrosion to not only that great source of power, love, light, and lessons, but everything else, all those other relationships, ventures and opportunities that you have, everything you’re connected to. The third one is accountability. Accountability is easy, but it gives you control. Control is important because people feel out of control. There are so many variances in life, many instabilities, there’s so much inundated information about the variances, instabilities and the compressed uncertainty. To be in control takes only one thing, accountability.

What do I mean? Everything that occurs in my life, all I do is ask two questions. Number one, what did I do to attract this to my life? Number two, what am I supposed to learn from it? No blame, no shame, no justification, no, “This is because of this president or that senator,” not because of the economy, not because of the pandemic, “This is because my wife did this. This is because my kids do this.” David Meltzer attracted it to the pandemic. I attracted it into my life.

Two, what am I supposed to learn from it? If you combine that with the gratitude and the forgiveness, you get to something called inspiration. The idea of inspiration we went over already. Inspiration is different than motivation. Motivation is temporary. It will suck you and it will drive energy. It doesn’t last, but it will get you back up. It will get you started. It will get you restarted, but it’s not going to get you there. Inspiration gets you there by living with this connection, allowing it to come through you knowing, “The more I received from the light, the love and the lessons I learned, the more I can give to others.” This idea of abundance of the world and more than enough. Gratitude, empathy, accountability, and inspiration are the four key mechanisms to live through all of these periods. 1993, 1997, 1999, 2001, 2008 and 2020, you are happy.

That’s what a lot of people are struggling through some of this because if you look at the mental fatigue and some exhaustion of the year. I’ve noticed you mentioned forgiveness in there. That’s one that stuck out. Why do you think people struggle to almost forgive themselves? We’re almost our own worst critic, and I’m guilty of that too. I can speak from experience. Why do you think that is, that people struggled to forgive themselves through this?

It’s interesting because of ego. Ego will add goodness and happiness out of your life. Ego itself tells you, “I can’t be responsible for this. I can’t forgive myself. I’m not worthy. I’m separate. I’m inferior. I’m superior. I’m angry, worried, anxious, frustrated, I’m guilty.” All these ego-based corrosive experiences that we have, instead of the truth of saying, “I’m human. I’m connected to everything and everyone and the only way that I can expand, accelerate, appreciate the compound interest of positivity and happiness is to make mistakes. The only way to get past the mistakes of learning is to forgive myself that I don’t know what I don’t know.”

Think about it in mathematical terms, how many independent and dependent variables facts, statistics, data do you think exists on earth alone, not counting the rest of the galaxies? You couldn’t even fathom. How could it be that we expect ourselves to know all those facts, statistics, and the variances that occur within them? No, it’s almost the opposite. We don’t know what we don’t know. People can’t help themselves and they think they know everything. I’ve implemented a rule number six to help people and it is simple, “Don’t take yourself so seriously.” Realize, “I don’t know what I don’t know. I’m on this journey. I’m learning the best I can.” You joke about you’re practicing forgiveness.

I’m practicing all these things. I am the world’s biggest hypocrite. The bigger my audience gets the bigger of a hypocrite I am because I’m still practicing these things. I dread the fact that someone’s going to come up to me and go, “I saw you yelling at your seventeen-year-old. Where’s the majesty of calmness? I thought you were the ferocious Buddha. I thought you lived in center all the time?” No. If anyone has a seventeen-year-old daughter, they will drive you nuts. The difference between me and most people is instead of driving me nuts for months, weeks and days, it’s minutes or moments now until I get back to center. I’m human and I’m practicing these things myself.

You talk about getting back to center. We all have this. The ego comes in, it hits us when we don’t want it to. You seem like a guy, I can tell your energy that you’re able to control your energy back. What would be something you’d recommend to people? I’m thinking, “I’m having you coach me a little bit.” Your energy gets off, your ego comes in, and you get angry or upset? How do you get back to center?

It’s called practicing ending fear. We can end on this because it’s such a big thing for happiness. I’m going to tell this story and share this story. It may seem subtle to you, but I will explain why it’s not so subtle. We’ll get to some pragmatic tools while I tell the story. Everyone should have two routines. My normal routine is I wake up at 4:00, meditate for twenty minutes, get ready, an hour in the gym, then an hour to do research, study my calendar and other things for interviews, movies, TVs, books, etc. I spent an hour with my family, then I execute as a student on my calendar, including coaching calls.

I finish the day at 4:45, do more coaching calls, then I do another an hour and a half with my family, then an hour and a half studying again, and have an unwinding routine every day so I could wake up at 4:00 the next day. You need to have an adaptable routine as well for when you have a bachelor party, family in town. If something comes up, those become the non-negotiables, which to me are a minimum of an hour a day on my health, a minimum of 30 minutes with my wife, 30 minutes with my son, two minutes with my teenage daughters, one with my mom to tell her I love her. I appreciate her. I’m happy and healthy. Only four things you’ve always got to tell your mom, happy, healthy, love and appreciate her. It will completely submit your relationship.

Say no to blame, shame or justification. Be accountable for and learn from everything that happens in your life. Click To Tweet

I wake up at 4:00 on a Saturday. I will meditate. I’m at my highest frequency, the baseline for the day to keep me from going off of center. I get ready. I’m going to the gym, I’m ready to go. It’s chest and try day, my favorite day, 30 minutes apart. My daughter’s car is missing 4:30 in the morning, Saturday. I immediately go into ego-based consciousness. I am literally about to call her and say, “Where are you? Where is your car?” I am about to finish dialing when I realized number one, I identified I’m on ego-based consciousness. Two, I stopped.

If anyone’s been on ego-based consciousness. Think of your relationship with a wife, a spouse, a girlfriend, boyfriend, etc. When you’re at your angriest, imagine stopping, dropping and ask yourself, “Why am I so angry?” That’s what I did. I’m a ferocious Buddha. Ferociously you have to stop. Then I’m a Buddha. I breathe through my nose out through my mouth as I think, “Why am I so mad?” That’s where I come to the realization at this majesty of calmness at center. “I’m not mad. I’m scared something has happened to one of the most important people in my life who I’m responsible for. I’m about to take it out on her that I’m scared. The only reason I’m scared is because I love her so much. Why don’t I communicate that I love her so much and then I’m scared instead of projecting anger, and corroding and interfering with my relationship?”

I call and she answers and I wake her up, “Where are you?” “I’m in my bed.” “Where’s your car?” “Daddy, you told me when kids are drinking, that I should Uber home and I never get in the car with kids drinking.” I’m smart enough to know what kids are drinking means. I said, “I’m so proud of you. Thank you so much. We’ll get the car later. I’m sorry for waking you.” He goes, “It’s okay, Daddy. I love you.” “I love you too.” I hung up. Everyone who’s on the phone, they get what we’re talking about practicing ending fear, but let me tell you how far your life changes when you accelerate in ego in the wrong direction.

Here’s what happens with the old David Meltzer. “Where are you?” “I’m at home in my bed.” “Where’s your car?” “It’s at the grocery store. You told me when kids are…” “You were drinking. I’m going to take your car and your phone. You’re restricted.” “I hate you, Dad.” “You hate me?” You don’t think that’s bad because I’ve now ruined the bond and the trust between me and this special person. Here’s what’s worse. This is where little subtle things in your life will change you forever. The next time kids are drinking, she thinks in her head rightfully, “I don’t want to disappoint my dad. I don’t want to lose my car. I definitely don’t want to lose my phone. I’m a seventeen-year-old girl. I’m going to drive home.”

When she drives home, my life could change. Her life could change, or even worse, someone else we don’t even know whose life could change because I accelerated in the wrong direction. I haven’t learned to be in center. I see in business and in personal lives, people who have no control, no practice of ending fear, accelerate to the wrong direction so far, and they wonder, “I’m a good person. I think, say and do all the right things. How did I end up so far from where I wanted to be?”

BCS 17 | What You Want

What You Want: Gratitude, empathy, accountability and inspiration are the four key mechanisms that will allow you to live through tough times in happiness.


I’ll tell you, because you’re not a ferocious Buddha. You have accelerated in the wrong direction. You have thought and edge goodness out of your life in a very subtle manner. You need to practice ending fear and I promise you, you will get, achieve, and manifest everything you desire rapidly and accurately, especially happiness. This is the type of thing I’m going to teach everyone. If you miss Friday’s, you can’t make it 11:00 AM Pacific, 2:00 PM Eastern, the replays are on my playbook, the podcast. The replays are on YouTube. You can watch every single one. I will send them to you for free. I will give you my book for free, my exercise, my guides for free. My email is right there, David@DMeltzer.com. I also have a text community (949) 298-2905. Thank you for this opportunity.

This has been one I was looking forward to and over-deliver. I appreciate how you give and you show up because I know our audience is going to find tremendous value. I’m going to go back to this one. This was packed. They know how to sign up on Friday. They’ve got the text. Where else can they follow you along on social to connect up with you?

Everything is David Meltzer, David@DMeltzer.com. David Meltzer on YouTube, LinkedIn. The only thing that’s not David Meltzer is my website, I shortened it, DMeltzer.com. Go there and you’ll find all of the things and places to find me. I’m happy to help for free. I love the saying, “If it’s free, it’s me.” Now it’s for you too.

This has been one of my favorite episodes. We’re probably going to have you back because I think there was a ton that we touched on. We even get to the Jerry Maguire references.

Leigh Steinberg is truly the real Jerry Maguire. Cameron Crowe followed him around. He was in the movie with Troy Aikman and Warren Moon at the end of the movie. Leigh is a humanitarian who went to Berkeley and the top of his class, Berkeley Law School. He created a sports agency and he signed Patrick Mahomes to the largest NFL deal here late in his career. He deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. I was just blessed to be mentored and be the CEO of the company after the movie was made, but the most notable sports agent of all time.

It’s one of those we all grew up with the movie. David, thank you. For the readers, thank you for joining in. We appreciate it. Make sure you go over like, subscribe, leave comments and feedback. We appreciate you guys following along. Continue to learn, grow, push yourself to your best and bring happiness back into the world as David and others try to inspire over a billion people to find their happiness and be happy and spread that. Have a great rest of your day. I’ll see you next time.

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